This is prime minimalist! The left out and the untold tell the story. It’s also a great exercise in using alternative devices to explore relationships and character’s inner worlds. This should invite writers to consider devices that do similar work and how they might replace more conventional tools. Well done!
The egg breakfast disappearing in 1997 is one of the most devastating line break I've read this year. And it's not even a line. It's an absence. A whole life told through receipts and the reader does all the work. The shift from apple juice to orange juice as the kids grow up is so precise it hurts. This is pure genius. Nothing wasted.
John, thank you so much for reading and for the kind words. It felt good to write this one and work it all out. I’m glad it was effective and moved you. That means everything.
This reminded me in a good way of one of Ocean Vuong’s poems I enjoyed from his collection Time is a Mother, “Amazon History of a Former Nail Worker,” wherein the purchases tell a story. It’s such a nifty way to craft a narrative, kudos!
And that ending, hits hard - after dating, marriage & one kid then a second kid, then they leave home, and then she does too and you don't even want to eat anymore. Just a lonely guy hunkered over a lonely coffee.
Unless she was just taking them to the grandparents that day and you'd already eaten.
I love the inflation too. Well, obviously I don't love inflation, but it's revealing. I mean, I'm guessing neither the breakfast nor the waffles nor the coffee cup size have increased, and nor have the real costs of production.
Ah - it's because I don't subscribe to Sum Flux, so didn't hear anything about it until waffle stories landed in my inbox. Maybe I should subscribe, come to think of it. Especially if it's producing such a raft of cool stories.
"baby shoes" sadness. stretched out in a waffle thin life. clever.
im making his life up in my head. the kids names. dirty plates.
What names did you come up with?!
benny and grace
I think they fit.
grace was born first, then benny. benny was the last to stop going to see his dad.
Benny with the dagger.
Receipt melancholia
Minus Kristin Dunst.
lol. Never seen it
Didn’t love it but it has stuck with me. Haha
Really pensive and understated. Cool idea.
Thank you, Stephanie! And thank you for reading.
Well said!
This is sad and funny and wistful and whatever you want. Like Waffle House itself
Thanks Brandon!!
Damn...when I woke up this morning I never expected a list of Waffle receipts to gut punch me
Never forget. Thanks for reading and judging!
This is prime minimalist! The left out and the untold tell the story. It’s also a great exercise in using alternative devices to explore relationships and character’s inner worlds. This should invite writers to consider devices that do similar work and how they might replace more conventional tools. Well done!
Thank you, Sam! I enjoyed attempting to tell the story this way and I hope to find some more ways to do it in the future.
I think you’ve got the makings of an awesome prompt for people to write stories against. Could become its own collection/competition!
That is a solid idea. Gonna have to stew on that one
If the stewing leads to anything, I’d love to be involved.
You got it!!!
Hey, wouldn't this be awesome as a visual? Graphic style, seeing one receipt on a page. Like in a zine version?
It would!!
Pairs nicely with Hopper’s Nighthawks
I have always loved that painting. Thanks for reading!
Ah, this is only brilliant. Well done!
Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you reading.
The egg breakfast disappearing in 1997 is one of the most devastating line break I've read this year. And it's not even a line. It's an absence. A whole life told through receipts and the reader does all the work. The shift from apple juice to orange juice as the kids grow up is so precise it hurts. This is pure genius. Nothing wasted.
John, thank you so much for reading and for the kind words. It felt good to write this one and work it all out. I’m glad it was effective and moved you. That means everything.
This reminded me in a good way of one of Ocean Vuong’s poems I enjoyed from his collection Time is a Mother, “Amazon History of a Former Nail Worker,” wherein the purchases tell a story. It’s such a nifty way to craft a narrative, kudos!
I just looked it up and read it. Damn. That was heavy and beautiful. Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to read it.
Superb subtext running through this.
And that ending, hits hard - after dating, marriage & one kid then a second kid, then they leave home, and then she does too and you don't even want to eat anymore. Just a lonely guy hunkered over a lonely coffee.
Unless she was just taking them to the grandparents that day and you'd already eaten.
I love the inflation too. Well, obviously I don't love inflation, but it's revealing. I mean, I'm guessing neither the breakfast nor the waffles nor the coffee cup size have increased, and nor have the real costs of production.
Fuck capitalism. It ruins relationships.
Inflation is just the dagger in the end of a messy and at times beautiful life.
Capitalism just make sure it hurts a little extra at the end.
Thank you for reading as always.
Also was hoping you would be serving a dish of waffles in this comp. I’m sad you aren’t.
Ah - it's because I don't subscribe to Sum Flux, so didn't hear anything about it until waffle stories landed in my inbox. Maybe I should subscribe, come to think of it. Especially if it's producing such a raft of cool stories.
I think you should. No doubt you belong. But more importantly would do some fantastic writing for their open calls.
Oh that’s awesome. Like a puzzle in a narrative game
Thanks for reading Alex!
Really creative! Like the loud quietness of this story
I’m not the first to do it but was excited to try it. Thank you so much for reading!
Very creative!
Thanks for reading!
Not quite the full menu linked, but hey no biggie, Nick. There's a ton of good stories. - Jim
Did not mean to miss anyone. Apologies. I’ll link to you.
No need partner. I do that all the time when I do lists. - Jim
Well, it’s already done! 😉
Haha, great, now I feel like a total ass. I should have just kept my big mouth shut. Good luck to you.
Nah. It was nothing. Same to you.